I’m learning a lot about people and myself and love. I guess I always forget that sometimes loving is hard and confusing. But I’m just thanking God for providence. Sometimes I don’t trust anybody or myself. I never saw myself as this optimistic person. But I’ve come to accept that I am the glass-is-half-full guy. That’s ok, right?
I was driving home tonight and realizing that certain songs that I’ve written are going to be real painful for the people they are about. But, I feel like I have a responsibility to be true to myself and to work out things through my art. In other words, if you’re my friend and you screw me over you will probably get a song written about you. Let that be your warning. Kidding! But seriously, I started to feel bad. But then I realized that this is just art and that a lot of times you write things that capture a particular moment or time and that it isn’t always universally true fot all time. So, I’ve written a couple or more nice songs about my ex-wife. And now I’ve written a couple of real nasty ones. It all balances out in the end I guess. Hopefully someone will relate and benefit from my venom. Or maybe not. But, soon it’s going to be out there and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
So anyway, I’m learning to love again. And writing these songs and recording them is all part of closure and moving on. I could end up getting hurt again and that’s ok. You can’t live your life in a box. You can’t grow if you don’t go through stuff. It’s just the way it is. And if it all ends tomorrow. Just knowing that somebody out there felt something for me…to know they saw good and wonderful things in me…that’s enough. I love her and just feeling that again is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Goodnight my children, I have to run in the morning.
I am so thrilled to have 3 days off I barely know what to do with myself. I just alphabetized my CD collection. Well, they are in piles by letter on my kitchen table. Now I have to organize each of those piles. I had band practice today. I think we’re in pretty good shape to do the record. 12 songs. I’m really happy with what we’ve written. Of course, who knows if anybody will care or want to listen. Hopefully someone will. So, I’m just sitting here being thankful for my new best friend. She’s amazing and she makes me happier than I can remember being in a long time. There’s a connection between us, something that only comes along once in a lifetime. For some people it never comes along. I believe that. I’m feeling blessed.